"Abba-Solution"

On the occasion of his 50th birthday one of the best men I know called together his friends and family for dinner at an Italian restaurant in Richmond, Va. Not being a particularly outgoing or loquacious individual, this man had always preferred to float at the periphery of the room at cocktail parties and at family gatherings like this one and had almost never put himself at the center of attention. But on this particular occasion our man stepped to the forefront and spoke from his heart with class, humility, and deep sincerity to the room full of guests.

"Each of you in this room is very important to me and I am lucky to have you in my life. This is why I want to ask the following of you--please forgive me."

The room was completely quiet as our speaker paused and glanced around the room, almost making eye contact with each person. The weight of what was said effectively set in.

"Also, please know that because I love you--I forgive you. "

At this point I glanced around the room and tears were streaming down the faces of dinner guests both young and old, friends and family members, women and even some surprising tears from typically phlegmatic grown men. Time froze, and the almost tangible emotions that were floating around the room fused together into the most magnificent moment of reconciliation.

It almost sounds like fiction, but this moment unravelled exactly as I described. And I can assure you that our speaker is real, too--he's my father, Chuck Evans.

When you're a young boy, you think your father is the strongest person in the world, like some sort of domestic Heman. He's an everyday superhero, an infallible immortal who is capable of removing the boogeyman from your closet only moments after ridding the entire world from the forces of evil (Cobra, girls with koodies, Darth Vader, etc) and doing all of this just moments before whipping up the best batch of french toast you can imagine.

But it's only after you begin to weather the ups and downs of adulthood (I would say manhood but what i'm describing happens to both sexes) that you begin to fully appreciate and love your father for both his strengths and his weaknesses. When this kind of maturity sets in, you come to see not only the mythic character that he was while you were growing up. You also begin to love him because of his fallibility, because of his mortality, and in the case of this story, because of his courage to admit his subjectivity to these two facets of the human condition before his family and friends.

Since he is and has always been my primary male role model, I'm going to follow my father's example here. I've lived enough now to have made some mistakes (you know who you are), so here goes......

Each of you reading this blog is with me on this journey and I love you. Please forgive me for my transgressions, for when I have been selfish, for when I have caused hurt either intentionally or unintentionally. I am thankful that you are a part of my life.

Also, I forgive you, too.

Come to think of it, all of this rather reminds me of another Fatherly supplication.......

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name,

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven,

Give us this day our daily bread,

-And Forgive Us Our Trespasses-

-As We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us-

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and Glory,

Forever, and Ever.

Amen, Dad. Amen.

Happy Father's Day. I love you.

--Paul