Home, Alas!

Current Location: Deltaville, Virginia

Current Coordinates: 37° 33' N, 76° 20' W

Listening: "The Only Living Boy in New York," by Simon and Garfunkel, 1970

On Tuesday morning of this week Mike and I checked the weather and decided that we would not be able to leave for La Coruna, Spain until Wednesday morning because of a strong low pressure system hanging around in the Bay of Biscay. Within minutes I was arranging my travel plans home.

I flew from Cork to London Heathrow and then on to Copenhagen where I spent the night before catching my flight back to Dulles the next day. One note--As I was coming down an escalator in Heathrow airport I realized that the woman standing at the bottom was Reese Witherspoon. I did a double take and was immediately reminded of this scene from Cruel Intentions (1999). Only I think that Reese was a bit more impressed by Ryan Phillippe than she was by me.

After unpacking and a long run down Grove Avenue the reality of home began to set in. I'm now beginning to try and document everything by organizing my photos and journal in a manner that does justice to the impact that this experience has had on my life and on my outlook on the world.

The best reference point for doing this is looking back through my blog entries. While doing so it occurred to me that neither the images nor the narrative can stand alone--they must be considered together in order to really grasp what this experience was like for me. If you scroll through the pages of images that I have incorporated into the body of the text you might get the wrong impression. I snapped most of the photos when I was inspired by a sunset, or by a landscape or by some other awesome spectacle. The sum of this paints the picture of an idyllic experience--the perfect process of self discovery. But there were also some very difficult moments, many of which I described in my narrative. The two considered together give the most exact representation of what life was like for me over the past two and a half months aboard Gitana.

I talked earlier in the blog about wanting to document this experience as thoroughly and fearlessly as possible with strict adherence to verisimilitude. But I admit now that I was at times quite self -conscious about sharing my thoughts ideas, many of which I have kept private. I was also concerned with how others might perceive my efforts and that some might deem my writing to be the ramblings of a self-important author. In retrospect, I'm glad that I chose to bring you along on this journey. Now you know more about who I am and where I'm coming from. I hope that each of you also understands now how important you are to me.

A few last gasps of preachiness:

I mentioned earlier that the most important thing I learned from this experience was how to manage a difficult personality. I'd like to retract that statement now. True, Mike is and was absolutely a challenging person to work for (but a good one). But I remembered that in the past I've dealt with many difficult personalities in work settings and came to the realization that life is full of characters who test our faith and our understandings of ourselves and how we fit into the world that surrounds us. He's just another chapter--and a very good one at that.

Another important thing that I've drawn from this experience is that I've learned to tolerate lower levels of stimulation. I think that this is an important maturing step and I'm glad that I've finally made it. Throughout childhood, into college and even for a while after life for me was about finding the next big event, the next rush, or the next problem. Because of my time at sea (and more specifically my numerous 4 hour watches behind the helm) I have finally learned to relax, to enjoy the calm, and to really appreciate the brief moments of complete peace that creep up on each of us from time to time. I relish these now.

And the last and most important thing that I've learned from this journey is to choose faith. Life, like the sea, gives us ups and downs. It's much easier to adopt a defeatist attitude when we find ourselves plagued with doubt, humbled by failure, or hurt by love. But I've learned over the past few months that there are just as many opportunities to be positive and faithful as there are chances to bemoan some of the circumstances we find ourselves in.

And for this reason I cling to the many awesome images I've seen over the past few months at sea. If the narrative was the venue for my inner dealings with faith, doubt, and growth, then the images are visual reminders of how beautiful life is for those who choose to believe.

Amen.