Credo Quia Absurdum Est; One Pilgrim's Profession of Faith

Current Location: Stornoway, Isle of Lewis, Scotland
Current Coordinates: 58°12′ N 06°19′ W
Next Stop: Isle of Mull, Scotland
Listening: "After the Goldrush," by Neil Young, 1970, performed 1989

If you look up the word "pilgrimage" in the Merriam-Webster dictionary you'll find this definition: "a journey of a pilgrim; especially one to a shrine or to a sacred place." When we talk about pilgrimage in the Christian tradition we're often referring to a trip to the Holy Land to walk in the footsteps of Jesus Christ or of a 300 mile trek along "El Camino de Santiago" which stretches from southern France to Northern Spain to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela where the remains of St. James are believed to be buried. The Holy Land is also the focal point for pilgrimage in the Jewish tradition. Many Christian pilgrims also journey to the Vatican City to see the tomb of St. Peter, the first Bishop of Rome at St. Peter's Basilica. In Islam, pilgrimage refers to an obligatory ten day journey to Mecca in accordance with the "steps of Hajj."

In all three traditions, the reasons why and the means by which faithful people make pilgrimages are similar. We embark on spiritual journeys in search for more profound and meaningful relationships with God (however we understand Him/Her to exist). Self-sacrifice and stoicism are common to all pilgrimages. Individual steps along the way become outward manifestations of our faith and of our willingness to endure suffering to achieve spiritual growth and holiness. Further, the purpose and intentionality of steps is shared by all faiths. The premise here is that the totality of these individual steps will result in a superior understanding of God, His will, and of our purpose here on earth. We are all seeking this kind of enlightenment whether or not we are aware of it. But I believe that something more important must be absorbed before we map out our pilgrimages.

Steps have been an important part of my Pilgrimage thus far both literally and figuratively. Those of you who read "The Floggings will Continue until The Morale Improves" know of the many tasks and chores I completed in Bodo that were all aimed at getting the boat in the water. In port, I'm given a list of chores that I must complete before I'm allowed to delve into abstraction (like I am now) at the local wi-fi pub or internet cafe. But I've also been going through many spiritual steps on Paulgrimage trying to achieve a deeper faith and greater moral clarity. Those of you who read "Abba-Solution" are aware of my attempts to give and receive forgiveness for all transgressions. But there is also a lot going on beneath the surface, not the least of which is trying to discern God's purpose for me during my time here on earth. During the long and frequently cold hours I spend on watch when Gitana is at sea I'm always looking for revelation on the horizon, celestial signs or messages to point me in the right direction, providential "aha" moments where everything "clicks." In essence, I'm trying to reconcile the metaphysical concept of God in my mind with His presence in the physical world that surrounds me. But the process is becoming mechanical, contrived, and I'm beginning to think that pilgrimage steps are merely means leading me to an intangible and abstract end.

Most pilgrims probably wouldn't readily admit it, but they've likely experienced these pilgrimage blues. The steps, the rules, and the process become overwhelming and exhausting. We lose sight of what we're searching for, or we're disappointed by what we are finding or by what we are not finding. Many pilgrims become afraid of what they are finding. The obsession with faithful steps towards God has claimed many casualties and has resulted in biblical drama galore. Delve a bit deeper in abstraction with me for just one moment. I promise, we'll return to the surface.

There is similarity in the pilgrim's desire to achieve enlightenment by means of the faithful steps of pilgrimage and St. Anselm's Ontological Argument for the Existence of God. Anselm lived a thousand years ago and became Archbishop of Canterbury, England. He was famous for his motto "Credo ut intelligam," or "I believe in order to think" and for his argument to prove the existence of God. I've given this argument quite a bit of thought during my hours alone behind the helm of Gitana and have only recently been able to wrap my mind around it.

Anselm argued:

1) God is defined as the being in which none greater is possible.
2) It is true that the notion of God exists in the understanding (your mind.)
3) And that God may exist in reality (God is a possible being.)
4) If God only exists in the mind, and may have existed, then God might have been greater than He is.
5) Then, God might have been greater than He is (if He existed in reality.)
6) Therefore, God is a being which a greater is possible.
7) This is not possible, for God is a being in which a greater is impossible.
8) Therefore God exists in reality as well as the mind.

Confused? Orverwhelmed? Your delirium is similar to what pilgrims experience as they try and connect the significance of individual steps made on their spiritual journeys towards a closer understanding of and relationship with God. An epistomoligist, Anselm believed that the mind itself was capable of making a pilgrimage and that because all knowledge came from God, the aquisition of it would bridge the gap between our metaphysical understanding of Him and His physical presence here on earth. Like Anselm, all pilgrims struggle to piece together their own theologies and understandings of divinity. The pilgrimage is the exact physical expression of this spiritual process.

Back to the surface, I mentioned earlier that there was something crucial that we must be able to accept before we map out our pilgrimages. Before we make our first step and before we delve into the depths of our souls looking for God's imprint, we must first be willing to believe in the absurd. "Credo Quia Absurdum est" is a Latin phrase of uncertain origin that literally means "I believe it because it is absurd." It is not neccesarily an opposing viewpoint of Anselm's "Credo ut intelligam," but it does point out an important difference in the agency of the faithful. The premise of Anselm's argument is similar to the motivation of pilgrims--the notion that we can reach God by bridging the gap between our metaphysical understandings of Him and His physical presence on earth by acquiring knowledge and/or by making faithful steps, respectively. This is a kind of active agency, where we come to see ourselves as vehicles of God's Will and His desire to reveal His will to us. With "Credo quia Absurdum est," we are merely witnesses and interpreters of God's will. By this logic, the purpose of the spiritual journey is not to reach God, but rather to surrender to the absurd premises of His existence and at best become a conduit through which He reveals Himself to the world. Before we can take even the first faithful step towards a deeper understanding of God, we must first be willing to free fall into faith, to fearlessly embark upon a journey that has no clear path. We must be capable of believing in the unbelievable, willing to accept the futility of our minds to ever completely understand what God is and how He works.

Being good pilgrims is about surrender, not steps. This is true in life's pilgrimage and more specifically in all forms of human expression. For instance, the best live music that I've seen has been performed by musicians who interpret their surroundings improvisationally through their instruments. If you've ever listened to real jazz music (not Kenny G) then you know exactly what I'm talking about. The best speakers that I've seen are those who are capable of speaking extemporaneously, inspired by the spontaneity of the moment that they are witness to. The best art that I've looked at is impressionistic--it attempts to capture the essence of a moment in time with color on a blank canvass. And the best writing that I've ever read is written by authors who write from their stream of consciousness, uninhibited by the obstacles of proper grammar and language. But most importantly, the best pilgrims that I've known are those who see life as a work of art and themselves as instruments through which God continues to reveal Himself to the world.

Amen.

PS-- Happy late Birthday Claire! I love you! OO
(sorry about the photo Adam, much love to you also.)